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Never marry for money; never marry for love;
Nor social position, below or above.
But marry for that which is peaches and cream;
The singular pleasure, the connubial dream.
Keep fat in the pan, boys, keep lean in the jar
And size up the options from near and from far.
You don't need mot'vation, nor reason, nor rhyme,
Just walk to the altar and have a good time.
Now if it collapses and rattles your head
Walk away slowly and keep looking ahead
For the world's full of women, some ready, some not
And if you don't want to you'll never be caught.
For the world's full of women, some hot and some cold,
Whether you love them or not you're still growing old.
1with apologies to Harry Crewes